She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
