Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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