Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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