i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
