yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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