I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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