I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
