Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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