she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize