I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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