okay pat passed out under dana's car
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
