My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We left the knife in your bed.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
