4 words: hood of his car
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
