dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
