it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
