Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
