butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
