everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
