He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
