Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
