Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
