it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
