You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
