I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
