is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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