Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
