well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
