i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i love accidental penises.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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