Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
