ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
