Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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