what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Can I color on your dick again?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
