Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
