she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize