There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
