I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
