Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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