And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
