Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize