Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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