Who did Billy Mays play for?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
