she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
