from now on my penis is your penis
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
