It's Friday. Sex?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
