I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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