I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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