how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
