Tell her she can't have a vagina
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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