you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize