He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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