I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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