Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize