I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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