I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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