You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
