i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Houston, we have a squirter
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
