come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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