NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize