I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think my vagina is haunted
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
